What happens in Hawaii
by Alarose
Summary: A quick stop at the lovely Island of Kaua'i leads to the Doctor discovering a conspiracy with mutant genetic experiments, alien convicts, and a little girl who might have made a good companion right in the middle of it all. Rated for Stitch's language.


FYI about Stitch, he curses a lot. I mean, we kinda know this as an audience, but it's put to the back of our minds because his curses are all in Tantalog, not English, so it's all good. However, the Doctor has this handy thing called a translation matrix and I can't really think of a way out of translating Stitch's language. So enjoy your new potty mouth Stitch.

_Stitch talking in Tagalog when Amy, Rory, and the Doctor can understand but not Lilo_

Stitch talking in English

…

"Good morning Ponds! Today is the last day of your honeymoon, I'm afraid, but is there anywhere you would like to go before I drop you off?" The doctor asked, turning to face Amy and Rory as they came down the stairs from their room on the TARDIS. Amy yawned widely.

"Hawaii," she said, after a moment. The Doctor turned to look at her incredulously.

"Hawaii? I give you all of time and space, and you ask for Hawaii? Not even Space Hawaii? Or the tropical resorts of Mytuhamon 4?" Amy shrugged.

"I've always wanted to go. Plus, I can grab a couple of presents for the people back home," she replied. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Fine, your choice, I suppose," he said, flipping a switch. Amy, still tired and unprepared for the sudden take off, was knocked to the ground with Rory.

"Doctor!" The Doctor couldn't help but smirk. Okay, so he wasn't too happy about going to Hawaii of all places, but enough revenge. A moment later, the TARDIS had landed. The Doctor opened the door widely and smiled.

"Well, Ponds, welcome to Hono – this isn't Honolulu," The Doctor said, frowning as he looked over the small village laid out in front of them. He ducked back into the TARDIS to check the monitor for their location and the year (Though he couldn't help but sigh, in his previous body his senses had been good enough to usually estimate the year and planet just by the smell of the air).

"We're on...Kaua'i," Rory said, reading over the Doctor's shoulder.

"At least we're on one of the Hawaiian Islands. It's a few years before our time, but close enough," said Amy, reading over the Doctor's other shoulder.

"Oi! Both of you, you're in my personal space!" The Doctor said, pushing between them and moving towards the door.

"I didn't think personal space was something the Doctor worried about," Rory said dryly. Amy shrugged, and both of them followed the Doctor out the door and into the small Hawaiian village. For not wanting to come to Hawaii, the Doctor had sure cheered up quickly. They found him entertaining a small group of kids with puppets from who knew where.

"And then, the good alien swooped in and stopped the big evil alien! The end!" The Doctor finished. A couple of the kids giggled and clapped. A little red haired girl, though, snorted and rolled her eyes.

"You're almost as weird as Lilo," she said.

"Really? She like aliens then?" The doctor asked, amused.

"Yeah, she talks about them all the time! Along with other weirdo things," the girl complained. "She's even got this weirdo ugly blue mutant dog."

"Yeah? Where does Lilo live?" The Doctor asked, interested. The little girl looked at him suspiciously.

"why should I tell you?" She asked. However, before the Doctor could say anything, he was interrupted.

"Mertle! Can you come help me with this?" A man called from across the street. A few random trinkets had fallen out of the crate he was carrying and were now rolling around on the ground.

"Coming Dad!" Mertle shouted, leaving her odd conversation with the Doctor behind as she ran across the street. The other children had already dispersed, so the Doctor was left scratching his head.

"What was that about?" Amy asked. The Doctor grinned.

"Something interesting," he replied. "Ponds, you stay here and try to find out more about this odd blue dog of Lilo's, I'm going to her house." The Doctor jogged across the street and began talking to the man running the store. Amy sighed.

"Come on Rory," she said, dragging her husband down the street towards a little old lady running a small grocery store.

"Um, excuse me, we're from an Animal Protection Agency, could you tell me anything about Lilo's new dog?" Amy asked.

"What?" The lady said, cupping her ear.

"Can you tell me anything about Lilo's dog?" Amy asked again, louder.

"What do you mean there's gonna be fog?" The lady asked, confused.

"No! Lilo's Dog!" Amy shouted.

"Lilo doesn't have a frog," The lady said, confused.

"Ugh!"

"Uh, Amy," said Rory, looking down the street.

"What?" she asked, turning around just in time to see a little girl and a blue thing riding on a wheel barrow careen down the street, like a scene from Calvin and Hobbes. Rory and Amy glanced at each other before running after the wheel barrow.

…

"Up the hill and to the right. Up the hill and to the right," the Doctor repeated to himself, climbing the small hill. Just ahead, he saw a dirt road leading to the right. With a smile, he jogged along until he managed to come into view of a surprisingly large house. It had a fairly strong hodgepodge theme, with a small astrodome sticking out on the roof. It looked very homey, and also like it might have been destroyed and rebuilt by hand a few times. With a smile, the Doctor went up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Just a moment!" An odd voice called out. A minute later, the door opened and the Doctor blinked as he was treated to the view of a Monochordial in a wig and a dress. What was a Monochordial doing on Earth?

"Oh, hello! Are you looking for someone?" she asked. At least, the Doctor thought it was a she. It was hard to tell, Monochordials could distinguish a total of 5 genders among themselves, but no other species was able to tell the difference on sight. They also reproduced asexually, which really didn't help with telling the genders apart. It seemed to self-identify as a she, at least.

"Ah, yes, I'm here looking for Lilo," said the Doctor.

"Why? Has she done something again? Because if so, she is completely innocent and how dare you accuse our family's precious Lilo of something she didn't do!" The Monochordial said, advancing on the Doctor. He held up his hands, placatingly.

"Oh no, you see, I'm with the Animal Welfare Agency and just wanted to inquire about the state of her dog," he said.

"Stitch? You're interested in Stitch? Why? What has he done?"

"Nothing, they haven't done anything, I just wanted to ask about how well Stitch has been adjusting to his new home, after hall, he's been living here for..."

"2 years."

"2 years, and is due for a check-up from the agency," the Doctor said.

"Well, alright, but Lilo and Stitch aren't home right now, they just left a few minutes ago for Hula class. You can wait here if you'd like, I'll cook you something," She said.

"That'd be great!" The Doctor said, stepping into the house and casually looking around.

"Oh, I almost forgot, what's your name?" The Monochordian asked.

"John Smith, Doctor John Smith, though I prefer to just be called Doctor."

"Well alrighty then, Doctor, my name is Pleakley, I'm Lilo's Aunt. Her uncle Jumba is somewhere around here, he's a giant, so you'll know him when you see him. I'm afraid Lilo's sister is at work right now too, so for now it's just me. Do you want to watch a soap opera? I just discovered a new one called Dr Sexy, M.D. It's _fascinating_."

"Pleakley! Where is toaster?! I need toaster for new evil experime – hello," A giant said, stopping his speaking as soon as he entered the room and saw the Doctor. The Doctor blinked, it was a Jalooki. He assumed this was 'Uncle Jumba', judging by the bright Hawaiian floral shirt barely covering him. A Jalooki named Jumba. Why did that ring a bell?

"Why did you not say we had guest?!" Jumba roared at Pleakley.

"Well, you didn't exactly ask, did you?!" Pleakley replied, moving to go into the kitchen. Jumba snorted.

"So, what is your name?" Jumba asked, looking down at the Doctor.

"I'm John Smith, though I prefer to go by Doctor," The Doctor replied. Jumba nodded absently, before freezing for a moment and turning back to look at the Doctor with keen eyes.

"Doctor?!" He exclaimed. He quickly pulled out a plasma pistol and pointed it straight at the Doctor. "I did not think I was worthy of your personal attention, and though I am very flattered, I hope you do not mind if I shoot first and ask questions later," He said, charging the gun.

"Woah! What have I told you about pointing those things at the humans!" Pleakley exclaimed, running in with a tray of lemon bars to stand between Jumba and the Doctor.

"Get out of my way Pleakley, that is not a human! That is the Doctor!" Jumba shouted, trying to get around the much skinnier Monochordian without accidentally crushing it.

"I know! His name is Doctor John Smith, he introduced himself!" Pleakley said.

"No, Pleakley, he...ugh," Jumba sighed, shoulders dropping as his spare hand came up to slap himself in the forehead. "Pleakley, that is not human, he is Doctor. He is Time Lord."

"Oh, I see! So he's that Doctor. Wait, he's _that_ Doctor?!" Pleakley shouted in fear and threw his lemon bars up into the air, running to hide behind Jumba. "He's the most wanted criminal in the entire galaxy!"

"Is he? I know him as policeman, not criminal," Jumba said. "I thought Federation had him on good guy list."

"Oh, no! The Federation doesn't like him at all! Only the Shadow Proclamation likes him!" Pleakley said. "Though I have no idea why!"

"Is that so? Well, Doctor, why are you here?" Jumba asked, turning to the Doctor.

"I'm here because I heard about an odd blue dog running around the island and I thought it was rather curious. I really should stop doing that, it keeps almost getting me killed. Jumba Jookiba, I knew I recognized the name. You're wanted by the Federation for illegal genetic experimentation, you were trying to play God," The Doctor said, looking up at the much larger alien.

"Eh, is old news. I got full pardon a few months ago, though I decided I liked living here on Earth with little Earth family. I did not think I was famous enough to get your attention," Jumba said warily.

"Oh no, see, I dropped by for a little vacation. Hawaiian breeze and all that, thought it would be nice, and I hear about a little blue dog running around. Now, normally this might be mildly interesting, but when I also find an ex-con famous for his genetic experiments, I have to get involved. Who or what is that dog?"

.

.

...

I have no idea where I'm going with this, so feel free to throw ideas at me!


End file.
